Finding Energy as a Carer Mum: What Works for Me on the Hard Days
Practical ways I restore energy and strength as a mum raising a child with disabilities.
Recently, I spent days at the hospital with my son for testing. He doesn’t cope well with doctors or nurses, and this time they needed to place electrodes on his head. It was a battle from start to finish — holding him through tears, advocating for him when staff didn’t fully understand, and then driving home feeling like I had nothing left in the tank.
Those were hard days. They drained me completely. And if I’m honest, I’m still rebuilding my energy after that stretch.
But over the years, I’ve learned that energy doesn’t come back in one big wave. For carer mums, it has to be rebuilt in small, intentional ways. Here’s what works for me when I feel empty but still need to keep showing up:
1. Micro-moments, not massive routines
I used to believe I needed a big, beautiful morning routine. Carer life doesn’t allow for that. Instead, I’ve learned to build energy through micro-moments — small, repeatable actions I don’t have to think about.
For me that looks like:
A short morning walk after school drop-off to soak in fresh air and sun.
Cooling eye patches while I make lunches.
Stepping outside for a few deep breaths before I dive back into therapy tasks.
By choosing the same little actions each day, I’ve removed decision fatigue. These micro-moments give me stability, and energy, no matter what chaos the day holds.
2. Energy through expression
Hospital days and therapy goals & reports can leave me feeling like my whole life is clinical. Expression is what breaks through that fog for me. Writing about our journey, sharing honestly online, or even recording a voice note when I can’t process everything out loud — these things bring me back to myself, and my humanity!
If I don’t express, I feel invisible. If I do, I feel lighter. Expression is where I reclaim energy and meaning.
3. Anchor to action, not outcome
I used to tie my energy to outcomes I couldn’t control. My child’s progress. Other people’s opinions. Whether something looked perfect to the outside world. And every time progress felt slow or people judged me, I felt depleted.
Now I anchor to action. Did I show up for my child today? Did I show up for myself? Did I take one small action that nourished me? Even if no one sees it, that’s where strength is built.
Sometimes it’s as simple as turning on a song that lifts me, moving my body for five minutes, or doing something small that feels like mine. The action matters more than the outcome.
Why I share this
If you’re a carer mum, you know how much this role takes out of you. But I want you to know that your energy matters — and it can be rebuilt. You don’t need hours of free time. You need small, intentional actions that remind you of your strength.
And here’s the truth: the same grit, resilience, and daily consistency we bring to caregiving are the very things that can help us rebuild confidence, energy, and even create income that flexes around carer life. That’s exactly why I created The Rebuilders — a space where I mentor carer mums to take what they already do so well and turn it into something of their own.