How I Went From Stuck in a Rut to Rebuilding Myself Again
A story for mums raising a child with a disability who want to feel capable again.
There was a season not long ago where I felt like I was disappearing inside my own life. I was holding everything together for my son — the appointments, the seizures, the hearing loss, the decisions, the professionals, the plans that kept shifting — yet somewhere inside all of that responsibility, I couldn’t find myself anymore.
It felt as though life was slipping through my fingers, because no matter how tightly I gripped the routine or the strategies or the advice, nothing stayed still long enough for me to catch my breath. I was stretched thin, running on instinct, living in constant reaction, and slowly realising I no longer recognised the woman I had become.
Our journey was never straightforward
My son was born with congenital CMV, something I didn’t even know I could pass on. At first, we were told it was a mild hearing loss, but then came the bloodwork, the seizures, the monitoring, the hospital stays, and the steady decline until, by two, he was profoundly deaf.
We did everything that was recommended — cochlear implants, early intervention, playgroups, sign language, spoken language therapy, hours in the car, rearranged days, rearranged expectations, and eventually, rearranged versions of myself. And even with all of that effort, progress remained painfully slow.
Each setback felt like another weight placed on an already heavy load, and every regression felt like starting again from the beginning. Watching my child work so hard for every tiny inch forward was both heartbreaking and exhausting, and it chipped away at me until I felt hollow. I remember wondering how other mums survived this and whether I was the only one falling apart quietly behind closed doors.
The moment everything broke open
There is a point in caring where you stop noticing how much you’re carrying, because you simply adapt and keep going. That was me, until the day I realised I wasn’t investing in anything that felt like mine anymore. I wasn’t dreaming or planning or growing, and I wasn’t even thinking about my own future because every part of me was tied to helping my son build his. Somewhere along the way, I had disconnected from joy without even noticing it, and that realisation landed heavier than any diagnosis we had faced.
What actually changed
The shift didn’t begin with a dramatic decision. It started quietly, almost accidentally, when I asked myself a question I hadn’t dared to consider before:
“If nothing in my life gets easier, who do I want to be inside it?”
For the first time in years, I wasn’t trying to fix anything or stay ahead of the next appointment or chase the next piece of advice. I was trying to find myself again. So I started small — not with a routine or a project or a commitment, but with one intentional moment each day where I wasn’t reacting, I was choosing. And slowly, something began to shift.
Not in my circumstances, but in me.
My confidence stopped feeling like something I had lost and instead became something I could rebuild. My identity stopped feeling tied to survival and started feeling like something I could shape again. My future stopped feeling out of reach and began to feel open.
The shift wasn’t loud, but it was powerful
I stopped thinking in terms of “when life settles down” and started asking myself what I could claim back today, even in the chaos. It stopped being about finding more time and started being about using the time I had with intention. It stopped being about needing a different life and became a recognition that I was allowed to grow inside the one I already had.
From that place, I began to rebuild slowly — my energy, my ambition, and my sense of self. I didn’t rebuild by adding more to my plate. I rebuilt by honouring what I needed in order to stand tall again.
Why I’m sharing this
If you’re reading this because you’re raising a child with a disability and you feel like you’ve lost pieces of yourself along the way, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not behind, you are not failing, and you are not done. You are carrying a life that requires strength most people will never understand, and you are still allowed to have goals, ambition, and something that belongs to you.
You don’t need perfect conditions or a grand plan or a different season. You need one small, steady shift that reminds you you’re still in there — capable, ambitious, and allowed to rise.
This is the work I help other mums do now. Not by pushing them to reinvent themselves, but by showing them how to rebuild who they already are, one intentional moment at a time.
If this resonates, you’re exactly where you need to be. And I’m honoured to walk the next part of your rebuild with you.
Your Personal Invitation
If you’re ready to have something that’s yours again, earn in the pockets of time you already have, and grow alongside caring life, I’d love to support you. Get more details about working with me here.
It’s where driven mums raising children with disabilities learn how to create impact and income without stepping back from what matters most.
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